• Nadia Ballantine & Carol Lynch

Boundaries can be uncomfortable. Being busy is worse.

So excited to share the next steps in our year of learning.

On Friday morning we were privileged to spend some time with Debra Peck; Tumuaki at Riverdale School in Palmerston North exploring & opening our eyes to a Māori construct of leadership; Te Whiringawha. A big thanks to Deb for getting us started, making connections and inspiring us to pursue further learning in this area.

It’s week 8 and we’ve noticed that the response to our greeting “how are you?” is predictable – “busy” or variation of… “manic.” We might not be able to fix that for you right now, but we can offer some tools.

5 statements to help you say no without saying no.

“I can’t do that for you right now. Let’s think about who else could help you?”

“Yes… and here’s what I can do given the time I’ve got.”

“I can’t do that… but I could do…”

“I’m not sure, let me check out a few things and come back to you.”

“Let me think about that.”

4 questions to help you stay curious longer. Ask another question. This will help you really understand what people want and help you decide what you can offer. It creates options. How about trying these:

“What do you want?”

“What do you think you need from me?”

“What’s the real challenge here for you?”

“Let’s talk about what that might look like.”


-The best solution is better than your solution

-Come into the conversation with the intent to listen, not to problem solve

-If everything is important, nothing is important

2 reasons you might be busy

-Are you spending too much time on the dance floor rather than on the balcony? The dance floor is busy, chaotic, fast paced. The balcony is quiet, calm and reflective.

-There’s not enough…. time/resources/people…. Can you do something to change this? “Yes.” Do it. “No” Let it go.

1 Boundaries are the key to leading ourselves. What is one boundary you can put in place this week?


Carol & Nadia